remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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