So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
