i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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