Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
bring money and cleavage
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
