She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
