I think my vagina is haunted
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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