You don't have asthma, your pregnant
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
