butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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