Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
