I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
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Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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