He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
