would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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