i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
A bitchslap is in order.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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