we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
