Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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