the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
it glows. i had to have it.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
