i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
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Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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