Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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