Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We don't watch enough power rangers
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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