Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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