doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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