im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize