Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize