Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
