so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Enjoy the penises
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
