Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
