You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
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I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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