i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
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