I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
