I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
