A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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