Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
