Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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