Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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