i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
