I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
