im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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