No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
