Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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