I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
