We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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