I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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