I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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