Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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