Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
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I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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