i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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