Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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