She's JV to your varsity
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
