But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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