on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
