I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
