booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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