for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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