Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
