the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
