ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
