but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
